Zombie Reagan would have his purulent, decomposing foot up Kim Jong Il's butt right now

So, North Korea has been talking about launching this ICBM for a while now. Japan, still kind of nervous about having nuclear weapons up in their collective grill, made the fairly ballsy comment that if the missile entered their airspace, they would blow it out of the sky. So that was cool for them, I guess. But then Kim Jong Il did it anyway, and the Japanese decided they'd trust him that it was cool and probably not a nuke. (Yet.)

The missile stopped briefly in Tokyo to make like it was going to punch Japanese Prime Minister Taro Aso, and is reported to have laughed derisively as he flinched and wet himself, before establishing a stable orbit over the American West Coast. Upon re-entry, the Taepo-dong II missile is expected to move in with Mr. Aso's mom and boast loudly about their intimate relationship whenever Mr. Aso is in earshot.

President Obama issued a written statement promising to immediately talk about this some more, and possibly even petition the UN Security Council to issue another resolution. Mr. Obama is reported to be "not mad, just disappointed" and asked the North Korean President if he even wanted to be friends, or what. He vaguely alluded to the potential for economic sanctions if talking about it a whole lot more doesn't do the trick. Kim Jong Il texted the following response from his fortress of doom, 5 miles beneath Pyongyang:

"OMG NOT SANCTIONS! WE MIGHT BECOME THE ISOLATED, IMPOVERISHED, FAMINE-STRICKEN A**HOLE OF EAST ASIA--OH WAIT! LOL! GTG PLAY WITH MY NEW ORPHAN CANNON, L8R"

--Kevin